Monday, July 19, 2010
I am still getting this blog thing down. Someone shared some thoughts on patience and I wanted to see if I could address where I need to be more patient.
First, I need to be patient with school.
Hate it! That isn’t true I actually really love school. I hate the feeling of endurance. Knowing I have two years of school left or so is not a very patient building thought. However, once again I am not so much impatient with school. I rather quite enjoy it. I just don’t like the feeling of knowing that I am “stuck” until I finish.
I have tweeted about this before as well as made it my Facebook status once. Kind of as a joke but kind of serious that I find myself dating someone in my head and then I break up with them. (I should add, I never physically take these women out on dates) I do not allow myself to be patient with the single members of the opposite sex who I am attracted to. I don’t know if I am even wanting to date at this time. I worry this type of impatience could make me a very lonely person in the long run. The why… well that is something that I am still trying to figure out.
I am still super jaded about the whole dating thing (in a rut that feels like there is no way out) but, I just don’t ever feel the need to put up with another relationship that will break my heart and the other’s heart because the relationship is not what I or she is looking for.
I can’t think of any more but that is enough to write about.
These are just a few things I can recognize I need patience with. I don’t know if you have any thoughts, or a 12 step process to help me figure this out but I am stumped. I have found that I am more of a Huck Finn type of a person where as soon as something is there to tie me down and help me learn patience I run as fast as I can away from that chance and I have called that patience. No more are the days when I will run when something like that arrives. (that is officially not a guarantee)
Monday, July 12, 2010
First of all, I wish I was better at writing. I am not the best at this but by doing this blogging thing I hope to get better at it. Plus, I have been wanting to find some type of journal because I tried the writing in the journal thing and it is so hard! So, I would like to share a few thoughts about my experience in 110 in the shade!
As this (Will and Audra) experience is coming to an end I wanted to try and gather my thoughts around this ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE. Everyday there are small miracles and coincidences that the Lord sees fit to give us. However, every once in a while there comes a time when you think to yourself…”Why have you blessed me with THIS amazing once in a lifetime opportunity? What makes me so special? Whose life am I supposed to try and help after this is done? Have I made sure to learn all that I can from people who have amazing gifts to share with us? Have I kept an open mind to be sure I am looking for the opportunity to serve?” Then there is this simple but potent little plea… “Please Father, Please help me to never feel ungrateful of this experience.”
That truly sums it up for me. I feel like the college football player who is now watching the 4 time MVP of the league and the 1 time candidate for the MVP of the league go out there and play the game of their lives every night because they are trained and practiced enough to perform like that every night. The Hale Center Theater is just an amazing space! It is like having a private concert with the best band… Sure there are two analogies in this paragraph but I couldn’t figure out a better way to explain it. :)
When we first performed our preview for Will and Audra back on a Friday night I was scared to death. I think everyone was. I couldn’t settle down… The show was just jittery and we were not present. On Saturday we finally had a chance to watch them perform in rehearsal on Saturday morning and that was enough to transform the Saturday night performance to amazingly great heights!
Another analogy… It, at first, did feel like having a baby knowing that you will be giving up the baby for adoption and then getting the baby back after they had their turn to raise the child for a time. Now, that I have had the chance to really watch and learn I am so glad that child was raised by such amazing performers. Another thing I also learned is, “It truly takes a community to raise a child.” This child is not my own. This child is the cast’s. You have all raised this child to more then I think we all thought possible. I can not express my deep love enough for this 110 in the Shade cast. They are one of the reasons why I feel this has been such a major blessing in my life. You are all my friends. I love you all.
I want to thank the Hales and Swensons, my Mr. Miyagi, Dave Z., Mike L., Meagan, Tim, Tristan, Maryann, Amanda, Stacey (how I will miss you), Missy, Bobby, Charlie (wow, you have done a lot for me this show. Thanks!), All the ushers and people in the office, too. Seriously, this experience has gave me a higher capacity to love. Thank you all. What a great thing for us local performers. Thank you for trusting us so much. I have learned more about myself being a part of this then I have in any theatrical project I have ever done. THANK YOU! I am ETERNALLY grateful!
Surely, I couldn’t finish this without a personal thank you to Will and Audra. Will, it was so amazing to watch a WORLD CLASS PERFORMER! Your timing and line delivery are just amazing. I love watching you act. I love watching your discovery process. It is such a blessing to watch someone do something that they love doing. I have really enjoyed listening to you sing both in 110 and on the Hair album. You are a very gifted man. Thank you for being willing to share your gifts and talents with me. On the stage or off the stage you are a very special individual. Thank you for being patient with me. I have this self-imposed worry that I am that annoying 14 year old brother who isn’t very funny when I crack jokes and I tend to be more clingy and annoying around you but let’s face it… I am so grateful that someone of your caliber decided to do this. Sure you are the local boy but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had a talent crush on you… since 2003. Thank you for being so great! It was a pleasure to perform with you and watch you! To use a cliche, “Words cannot express the gratitude I feel because of you.” Thank you, Will. Thank you for your kindness backstage and on stage!
Audra, Thank you. Your vulnerability is just amazing. Thank you for your selfless performance. There is nothing more electric to watch then real human feelings and emotions given freely to not better one’s self but to better those around you. Meaning those around you who participate in the storytelling whether by watching the show, or by those who are acting on the stage with you, those who conduct your music, turn on your mic, and light you on stage. You have made me a better person for the performance you have given. Thank you for being so giving to the audience and us as a cast. What an amazing chance to watch someone who has an amazing ability to give a perfect gift of self every night. It has been a dream come true. Thank you, Audra.
There you go. Just some thoughts. I am glad that we get to continue on with the rest of the run and I am excited to do so. I love you cast of 110 in the Shade. Thanks for all you all who took the chance to read this. It means a lot to me. I am sorry for being such a rambunctious back stager as an ensemble member of the cast. Sometimes I just can handle myself. You are all awesome and I will forever remember this experience. Sure love ya!