Patience... How long is that going to take!

I am still getting this blog thing down. Someone shared some thoughts on patience and I wanted to see if I could address where I need to be more patient.

First, I need to be patient with school.

Hate it! That isn’t true I actually really love school. I hate the feeling of endurance. Knowing I have two years of school left or so is not a very patient building thought. However, once again I am not so much impatient with school. I rather quite enjoy it. I just don’t like the feeling of knowing that I am “stuck” until I finish.

Second, dating.

I have tweeted about this before as well as made it my Facebook status once. Kind of as a joke but kind of serious that I find myself dating someone in my head and then I break up with them. (I should add, I never physically take these women out on dates) I do not allow myself to be patient with the single members of the opposite sex who I am attracted to. I don’t know if I am even wanting to date at this time. I worry this type of impatience could make me a very lonely person in the long run. The why… well that is something that I am still trying to figure out.

I am still super jaded about the whole dating thing (in a rut that feels like there is no way out) but, I just don’t ever feel the need to put up with another relationship that will break my heart and the other’s heart because the relationship is not what I or she is looking for.

I can’t think of any more but that is enough to write about.

These are just a few things I can recognize I need patience with. I don’t know if you have any thoughts, or a 12 step process to help me figure this out but I am stumped. I have found that I am more of a Huck Finn type of a person where as soon as something is there to tie me down and help me learn patience I run as fast as I can away from that chance and I have called that patience. No more are the days when I will run when something like that arrives. (that is officially not a guarantee)

110 in the Shade

First of all, I wish I was better at writing. I am not the best at this but by doing this blogging thing I hope to get better at it. Plus, I have been wanting to find some type of journal because I tried the writing in the journal thing and it is so hard! So, I would like to share a few thoughts about my experience in 110 in the shade!

As this (Will and Audra) experience is coming to an end I wanted to try and gather my thoughts around this ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE. Everyday there are small miracles and coincidences that the Lord sees fit to give us. However, every once in a while there comes a time when you think to yourself…”Why have you blessed me with THIS amazing once in a lifetime opportunity? What makes me so special? Whose life am I supposed to try and help after this is done? Have I made sure to learn all that I can from people who have amazing gifts to share with us? Have I kept an open mind to be sure I am looking for the opportunity to serve?” Then there is this simple but potent little plea… “Please Father, Please help me to never feel ungrateful of this experience.”

That truly sums it up for me. I feel like the college football player who is now watching the 4 time MVP of the league and the 1 time candidate for the MVP of the league go out there and play the game of their lives every night because they are trained and practiced enough to perform like that every night. The Hale Center Theater is just an amazing space! It is like having a private concert with the best band… Sure there are two analogies in this paragraph but I couldn’t figure out a better way to explain it. :)

When we first performed our preview for Will and Audra back on a Friday night I was scared to death. I think everyone was. I couldn’t settle down… The show was just jittery and we were not present. On Saturday we finally had a chance to watch them perform in rehearsal on Saturday morning and that was enough to transform the Saturday night performance to amazingly great heights!

Another analogy… It, at first, did feel like having a baby knowing that you will be giving up the baby for adoption and then getting the baby back after they had their turn to raise the child for a time. Now, that I have had the chance to really watch and learn I am so glad that child was raised by such amazing performers. Another thing I also learned is, “It truly takes a community to raise a child.” This child is not my own. This child is the cast’s. You have all raised this child to more then I think we all thought possible. I can not express my deep love enough for this 110 in the Shade cast. They are one of the reasons why I feel this has been such a major blessing in my life. You are all my friends. I love you all.

I want to thank the Hales and Swensons, my Mr. Miyagi, Dave Z., Mike L., Meagan, Tim, Tristan, Maryann, Amanda, Stacey (how I will miss you), Missy, Bobby, Charlie (wow, you have done a lot for me this show. Thanks!), All the ushers and people in the office, too. Seriously, this experience has gave me a higher capacity to love. Thank you all. What a great thing for us local performers. Thank you for trusting us so much. I have learned more about myself being a part of this then I have in any theatrical project I have ever done. THANK YOU! I am ETERNALLY grateful!

Surely, I couldn’t finish this without a personal thank you to Will and Audra. Will, it was so amazing to watch a WORLD CLASS PERFORMER! Your timing and line delivery are just amazing. I love watching you act. I love watching your discovery process. It is such a blessing to watch someone do something that they love doing. I have really enjoyed listening to you sing both in 110 and on the Hair album. You are a very gifted man. Thank you for being willing to share your gifts and talents with me. On the stage or off the stage you are a very special individual. Thank you for being patient with me. I have this self-imposed worry that I am that annoying 14 year old brother who isn’t very funny when I crack jokes and I tend to be more clingy and annoying around you but let’s face it… I am so grateful that someone of your caliber decided to do this. Sure you are the local boy but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had a talent crush on you… since 2003. Thank you for being so great! It was a pleasure to perform with you and watch you! To use a cliche, “Words cannot express the gratitude I feel because of you.” Thank you, Will. Thank you for your kindness backstage and on stage!

Audra, Thank you. Your vulnerability is just amazing. Thank you for your selfless performance. There is nothing more electric to watch then real human feelings and emotions given freely to not better one’s self but to better those around you. Meaning those around you who participate in the storytelling whether by watching the show, or by those who are acting on the stage with you, those who conduct your music, turn on your mic, and light you on stage. You have made me a better person for the performance you have given. Thank you for being so giving to the audience and us as a cast. What an amazing chance to watch someone who has an amazing ability to give a perfect gift of self every night. It has been a dream come true. Thank you, Audra.

There you go. Just some thoughts. I am glad that we get to continue on with the rest of the run and I am excited to do so. I love you cast of 110 in the Shade. Thanks for all you all who took the chance to read this. It means a lot to me. I am sorry for being such a rambunctious back stager as an ensemble member of the cast. Sometimes I just can handle myself. You are all awesome and I will forever remember this experience. Sure love ya!

JEREMY WANTED IN!!!!

Jeremy wanted to be put on my blog. This is him in a woman's shirt. He said he feels really good about changing... his attire. I know he still likes girls for sure.... it's just... I don't know, he is really liking this shirt. I also wanted to show the damage he did to me once. We played ping pong and if you lost the point you had to let the other person hit a hard plastic soccer ball at your bare back. As you can see Jeremy scored a lot of points. If you look carefully you will find that my pores are popping out on the wounds.

Idaho...Rexburg.... Idaho

I have always hated Idaho (except Yellowstone because that is pretty sweet). I can't stand the tons and tons of farmland and pretty much complete nothingness. I had the opportunity to be in Idaho for a few hours and I have to admit after going I have a completely different feeling about it. I went with Kelly because she had to go to a meeting for the Playmill theater. (she will be performing there during the summer months) http://www.playmill.com/. So I went up and was able to meet up with my trainer from my mission. He is really good at being accommodating to me. He first took me to see the Rexburg temple. That is an amazing building and I think I enjoy architecture more because of my art history class. He then took me to his lab where he showed me his pet rat and the baby chicks. They are the funniest little animals ever and I guess really smart. He then took to me fed ducks which was really something I want to do now and I wish that we had a big duck pond really close by. We then went hiking and saw two muskrats, a Herring and trumpeter geese (we were actually looking for a porcupine). I then got to see my friend Dave who is the man! He told me some crazy dating experiences he had while at Rexburg. Then we went and ate dinner at Kelly's friends house and we were on our way back to Orem. I wish we would have taken a picture of what the roads looked like becuase they were so so so so bad! it was so hard to see the road. I am suprised we made it back safely. It cleared up eventually but it was rough. So there you have it my trip to Idaho for a day. That was my crazy but amazingly great trip to the (now amazing... in my opinion of course) IDAHO!

My Ride

I finally have a car of my own. I can't tell you how free I feel! I feel like traveling around the world! OH BOY! No, it is cool to have a car though. Really nice. I bought my brother's car. 1998 Pontiac Grand Am. It has been a car I have loved driving for quite sometime and I continue to love driving it. I got the registrastion and insuarance.... and a Y parking sticker for BYU... So I am set. I traveled all the way to Ogden and back and it seemed to work like a charm! It's nice to have a radio that works... for the most part. It is a really nice and comfortable car and I got it at a really nice price. So I am feeling more and more like a man as time goes on... and Kirk says it's got a comfortable back seat.

Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings

So I just barely bought the new Counting Crows album "Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings." I have to admit I really like it a lot. I have been reading a lot of the reviews and I would have to agree that it is a really great album! You have to listen to the whole album to get the idea, but it is really put together well. I just read something that had Adam (Lead Singer, Song Writer) talking about how they don't want to make a really good single but they want to make a really good album. Especially with the new world of music where you can just buy one song instead of the whole album.... that was paraphrased of course.... and I must say, it is a really great album but, I have come to expect it from my favorite band. The only problem is they will be going on tour with Maroon 5 and they will be playing in Scranton, PA.... but not Utah. It's kind of a sad thing but I can live with it. If I could just get to Scranton....I know some of you might be asking why I would randomly say Scranton and that is because I lived close to there for a few months. That would be a good excuse to go visit all of my friends there in Scranton. I just don't know if I can make it out there but I will try. My favorite song on the album is "Cowboys." (If you want to listen to "Cowboys" it is on my play list at the bottom of the page) I really like the chorus of the song "insignificant." If you are a Counting Crows fan it is is totally worth the purchase. I have come to expect nothing but greatness from them. If you aren't a fan the I would first like to say.... "I am sorry." Then I would tell you to go buy all of their albums and become one! It is so worth it.

AND THAT'S A WRAP!!!

Berlin! is over! It is kinda funny how much something like that changes you. I loved filming the whole week! after doing it I have finally figured out what I want to do for the rest of my life. I would love to be in front of the camera. The only problem with filming is that it is so anticlimactic. When I left the studio for the last time I left alone. There was no one there to say bye to except for Pippin who was my costume person, there was no final performance to give it all you got, there was no one to thank for coming and experiencing the final show with you. All I had was the director saying, "OK, that's it thank you." All in all it was a really great experience and I hope that I will get to do something of that scale again. I have been preparing for this show since January. The great thing about doing this show is learning everything about the Berlin Airlift. I knew nothing of the struggle the Berliners had to go through. I was also able to meet some of the amazing men of our country who actually helped with the Berlin Airlift of 1948. I met and talked to Gail Halverson who is well known as the Candy Bomber. He came to a reception that we held in between our last performances on Saturday, March 15th. It's amazing to actually talk to a real hero. Someone I look up too. (I even had a picture of him on my desktop at work) It really made me think about what kind of a man I need to start being now. It is awesome to see someone who has refined his life into something magnificent. It was a real testament to me that it is the small and simple things that we do that make us into men we can become. It's amazing that he simply dropped some candy to the kids in Berlin and because of that simple almost insignificant action became one of the greatest ambassadors for the church he is a part of and the United States. So I am really glad for simple reminders that help me focus on what I need to to be doing today.